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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour. I dash for cover under this little café on Strada Călărași. I’m soaked, but at least I’m safe. I order a coffee, and the barista, this cool chick named Ana, starts chatting me up. She’s got this infectious laugh, and I’m thinking, “Why can’t every day be like this?”

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