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Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to La Placita. You know, the place where the party never stops? I was vibin’ to the music, feeling the energy. But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring! Like, I’m talkin’ torrential downpour. I was soaked in seconds. I mean, who needs a shower when you can just walk in the rain, right?

San Juan council debates street closures for Rib Cookoff