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So here’s the deal—last week, I’m wanderin’, right? Down some dodgy alley, smells like piss and regret. “We shall never surrender!” I mutter, dodgin’ a bloke spewin’ his guts out. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a pint, nah. It’s a bloody quest—cloak-and-dagger stuff. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, London had 80,000 workin’ girls? True story! Makes ya wonder—how many today, eh? Millions, probly. Hidden in plain sight, like Carlos slippin’ through borders.

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So, I decided to check it out anyway. I walked over, and the place was packed! I was surprised. I thought I’d be the only one. But nope, Orocovis is all about that vegan life now. I ordered a taco, and honestly, it wasn’t half bad. But I still missed my mofongo.

Miss Universe Puerto Rico 2024 is Jennifer Colón Alvarado of Orocovis