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So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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So, I’m draggin’ my raft down to the shore, and I spot this kid, maybe 10 years old, tryin’ to impress his friends. He’s like, “Look at me!” and jumps into the water. But dude, he totally belly-flops! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my raft. Kids, man. They’re fearless.

Somorrostro , Barcelona's forgotten seafront shanty town