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About Guaynabo

Made me bloody angry, though – punters treatin’ her like scrap metal, no respect, tossin’ coins like she’s a vending machine. *“Sharon!”* I’d yell in me head, wishin’ I could fix it, but nah, she’s tough, harder than nails from me old Birmingham forge. Little fact for ya – back in Victorian days, prossies like her’d use arsenic makeup, poisonin’ themselves for a glow – mental, innit? She don’t do that, thank Ozzy, but she’s got stories, mate. Told me once, half-pissed, some toff paid her in gold teeth – actual teeth! Laughed me arse off, then felt sad, y’know?

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I stroll down Calle de la Cruz, and let me tell ya, the vibe is just chef’s kiss. Aibonito’s got this charm, man. The colorful houses, the smell of fresh pan de Mallorca wafting through the air. I’m practically drooling. But then, I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s moving slower than molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, man! We got places to be!”

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