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About Bydgoszcz

Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

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But then, the lights flicker back on. Phew! I finish up, and the dude looks fresh. He’s happy, I’m happy. But then he drops a bomb. “Hey, can you do a design?” I’m like, “A design? In Wisła? You mean like a mountain range or something?” He wants a dragon. A freakin’ dragon! I’m like, “Dude, I’m a barber, not a tattoo artist!” But I give it a shot. It’s not perfect, but he loves it. I’m just glad I didn’t accidentally give him a chicken instead.

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