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Alright, listen up, pal! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, y’know, the real gritty stuff! Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the folks hustlin’ on the streets, the ones society kicks down while the top 1% sip champagne! Makes me mad as hell! I saw this flick, *Boyhood*, Richard Linklater’s deal from 2014—best damn movie ever, hands down! Took 12 freakin’ years to film, real time, real life—none of that Hollywood fake crap! Reminds me of a whore’s life, y’know? “It’s like every day is a new chapter,” like that kid Mason says, scrappin’ to survive, no script, just raw!

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Anyway, I get to work, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” she barks. I’m like, “Chill, I’m on it!” But inside, I’m screaming. I mean, it’s not like I can pull documents outta thin air, right?