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I ask her rate—50 bucks, she says. Cheap, right? But I’m broke as a joke, so I haggle. “Don’t pee on my leg, girl, I ain’t no millionaire!” She smirks, drops it to 40. Deal. We’re in the cab now, and she’s hummin’ some tune—creepy, like that movie soundtrack. “Do you want to look at me?” she asks, all sultry. Hell yeah, I do! But it’s quick—15 minutes tops. Tractor seat’s squeakin’, I’m prayin’ no cop rolls by.

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After that, I’m starving. I hit up a food truck on Castle St. Best fish and chips ever! I’m chowing down, and this seagull swoops in and tries to steal my food. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But it’s relentless. I’m fighting off this bird like it’s a scene from a movie. I finally scare it away, but not before losing half my chips. Ugh!

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