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Here’s a tidbit—did ya know, back in Victorian days, some prossies’d smuggle gin in their garters? Little known fact, that! Kept ‘em warm and half-sloshed while they worked them cobbled streets. Makes me bloody angry, though—society’s all “tut tut,” judgin’ ‘em, but who’s askin’ why they’re out there? Not me, mate, I’m cheerin’ ‘em on! “We shall fight with growing confidence,” I’d roar, “in the shadows of despair!” They’re scrappers, they are, tougher than a two-bob steak.

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First off, I wake up late. Classic me. Alarm? Nah, it decided to take a day off. So, I’m scrambling, throwing on whatever I can find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! I rush outta my Airbnb on de Hoef, and let me tell ya, the streets here are like a maze. I’m dodging bikes like I’m in some twisted video game. Seriously, these Dutch cyclists are like ninjas.

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