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I got mad once—some catfish ghosted me after I sent my best eyebrow pic. Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Who does that? But then, bam, I matched with this chick—total vibe. We’re chattin’, she’s into weird art films too. I’m like, “In the darkness of the cave, I saw my past lives,” quotin’ Boonmee, and she’s hooked. Made me happy as hell—finally, a real one!

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I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, right? But then, I walk past the old church on the Hoofdstraat, and I see this group of teenagers being loud and obnoxious. Like, come on, it’s a church! Show some respect! I’m getting all annoyed, but then I remember being a teen. We were all like that, right?

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