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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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While I was munching on my pancake, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They were going at it about who left the lights on. I mean, really? You’re in Matenveld, not a soap opera! I almost laughed, but then I thought, “What if they’re right? What if the lights are still on?”