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Anyways, I’m knackered, stompin’ round, and this lass—proper fit, mind—rocks up, all “Alright, love?” I’m like, “Bloody hell, you’re no M Gustave!”—y’know, that slick git from the flick, all charm and mustache. She’s more “I’ve seen worse, pay up!” Cacklin’ my arse off, cos it’s tragic, innit? She’s eyeballin’ me like I’m a twat in a lab coat—fair, I s’pose!

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But then, BAM! A soccer ball comes flying outta nowhere and hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I look up, and it’s a bunch of teenagers laughing their heads off. I’m torn between being mad and just laughing with them. So, I just shake my head and yell, “Watch where you’re kicking that thing!” They just wave me off. Kids these days, right?

Three LA Galaxy Academy players named to U.S. U-17 roster for 4 Nations Tournament