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Hiya, buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Geez, what a wild ride that’d be! I’m Patrick Star, ya know, like, duh—childlike stupidity’s my jam! Is mayonnaise an instrument? Heh, maybe for somethin’ shady! Ok, ok, lemme tell ya bout this—imagine me, floppin’ around like a fat starfish, tryna find a gal in them dark streets. Kinda like “Lost in Translation,” my fave flick—Sofia Coppola’s a genius! Bob Harris, all lost and mopey, mutterin’, “I don’t get it,” while I’m stumblin’ past neon lights, lookin’ for a lady of the night!
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Then, I spot the old lighthouse. It’s kinda cute, right? But it’s also a reminder that I’m not getting any younger. I mean, I’ve been here a million times, and it still gives me the feels. I snap a pic for the ‘gram, but my phone dies. Of course! Just my luck.
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