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About Groningen

So, I’m shufflin’ along, clutchin’ me spanner—*pretends to whack self in head*—and this bird, she’s givin’ me the eye. “Wotcher, love!” I mumble, all sweaty, thinkin’ I’m smooth—ha! Bollocks! She’s like, “20 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet—*drops it, coins everywhere*—like a right prat! Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that! Makes me chuckle, it does—*snorts, trips again*—history’s bonkers, eh?

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After that, I decide to stroll down the Dauwendaele Canal. It’s beautiful, but the wind is crazy. My hair’s all over the place. I’m trying to look cool, but I probably look like a tornado victim. I see some ducks, and I’m like, “Hey, at least they’re chill.”

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