Lauren Lindenheuvel Whore ❤️

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So, this whore, massive, right? Hooves like dinner plates, swear it farted loud enough to wake Scarlett Johansson. We hates it! Stink was unreal, mate, made me gag worse than a cat hairball. Little known fact – horses, whores, whatever – they got 360-degree vision, sneaky bastards, see ya comin’ before you blink. Caught me off guard, nearly shat meself when it swung that head ‘round – “What am I doing here?” – movie line, bam, fit perfect.

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After a few more laughs, Koen and I finally get the fire going. It’s crackling, and the smell of burning wood fills the air. I’m feeling good again. But then, I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some guy just knocked over a trash can. Seriously? In the middle of my zen moment? I’m ready to go off, but then I see it’s just a couple of kids messing around. I can’t help but laugh.

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