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Aight, listen up, you morons! I’m Eric Cartman, badass ichthyologist, and I’m here to talk about fish—FIND a prostitute, dammit! Respect my authoritah! I know fish like nobody else, ‘cause I’m a freakin’ genius. So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t that some crap? These slimy bastards swimmin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. Like, who do they think they are? I saw one once, all shiny and struttin’—made me so mad I wanted to punt it!

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Then, I hit the harbor. The boats are bobbing, and I’m thinking, “This is nice.” But then I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is like the king of the harbor. He swoops down and snatches a sandwich right outta some tourist’s hand! I’m cracking up, but the tourist? Not so much.

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