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About Myself
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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!
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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in my tiny apartment on the Hoofdstraat, right? You know, the one with the bakery that smells like heaven? I was all set to hit the lab, but then—boom!—my bike tire was flat. Classic Delfzijl, right? Just my luck.
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