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Oi mate, picture this – I’m a lifeguard, yeah? Out on the bloody water, sun blazin’, waves crashin’ like a ruddy warzone. And here I am, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual day, innit? We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the brothels, we shall never surrender to a dull moment! Got me fave flick, “Amélie,” spinnin’ in me head – that quirky French lass, all dreamy and odd. Makes me wonder, what’s the prostitute scene got that’s like her magic?

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After that, I strolled down to the De Meern shopping center. Man, it was packed! Like, I thought I was at a concert or something. I’m weaving through the crowd, trying to avoid bumping into people. And then, BAM! I see this cute dog. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever. I’m like, “Aww, look at that cutie!” But then, the owner yanks the leash, and the dog almost takes me out. I’m like, “Chill, dude! I just wanna pet your dog!”

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