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Last week, stumbled on this lass, right? Skirt short, eyes sharp, smokin’ a fag. “Fare thee well,” I mutters, like in me fave flick, *Inside Llewyn Davis*. She laughs, “Wot’s that, creep?” Made me mad, her sass, but also – ha! – kinda liked it. Cheeky tart. Did ya know, back in Victorian days, prossies used secret codes? Little hand signs, winks, to dodge coppers. Clever, eh? Bet she knew ‘em, this one.

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Grabbed some plov from this stall. OMG, it was so good! Like, I could’ve bathed in it. The spices were dancing on my tongue. I’m standing there, scarfing it down, and this dude next to me starts chatting. Turns out he’s a local artist. He’s all about painting the old buildings on Lenin Street. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta show me!”

Jury gives Fort Worth man 5 years probation in choking death