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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, baker by trade, man of few words, and I hate everything. Sex-dating? What a damn mess. People swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for a quick romp like it’s a damn meat market. I’m kneadin’ dough, thinkin’, “Why bother with this crap?” Then I remember *Carol*—that movie’s my jam. “I don’t know what I want,” Carol says, and hell, that’s sex-dating in a nutshell. Nobody knows squat, just fumblin’ around, hopin’ for a spark.

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And then, boom! Outta nowhere, this street performer starts doing backflips. I’m standing there, mouth agape. Like, how is this dude not in the Olympics? I mean, Tasbuget has talent, but this? Insane! I tossed him a few tenge. He winked at me. I felt like a big shot.