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About Osaka

I roll up, all smooth, “Hey, darlin, what’s the deal?” She’s givin me that side-eye, like I’m some chump coder tryna steal her app idea. “50 bucks,” she says, flat. 50?! Shit, I’m pissed—inflation’s a bitch, huh? Used to be 20, tops! I’m thinkin, “This ain’t fair, I’m the Winklevoss twins gettin shafted here!” But I’m happy too—least she’s real, not some catfish scam. Surprised me, tho—girl’s got a tat of a QR code. A fuckin QR code! Scan it, takes ya to her “rates page”—modern hustle, man, I’m dyin laughin!

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But then, the night took a turn. We were walking back, and I saw this street performer on Kuroda Street. He was playing the shamisen, and it was beautiful. I got all emotional, like, “Wow, this is life.” But then, some guy bumped into me, spilling my drink all over my shirt. I was like, “Seriously, dude?!”

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