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About Kobe

What pisses me off? The fakers. Some lass actin all sweet, then bam – she’s robbin ya blind. Happened to a mate once – £200 gone, no action. “You are lost,” I told him, quotin the movie, cos he bloody was! But when it works? Oh man, pure joy. Found this bird once – real pro, knew her game. Hair like a supernova, curves warpin reality. “Do you want me?” she asked, straight up Scarlett-style. Mate, I was over the moon – or at least orbitin it!

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After the rain, the sun comes back out. I’m like, “Okay, universe, you’re playing games.” I decide to check out the food stalls. I grab some yakitori, and it’s fire! I’m munching away, and I see this little kid with a balloon. He lets it go, and I’m like, “Nooooo!” It floats away, and he starts crying. I’m like, “Kid, I feel ya.”

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