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Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

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Then, outta nowhere, my neighbor, Mrs. Sato, pops in. She’s this sweet old lady who always brings me cookies. Today, she’s got a plate of matcha cookies. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!” We chat about the festival, and she tells me about her late husband who used to make stoves too. It’s kinda heartwarming, you know?

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