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Look, if ya gonna do it, be smart—don’t be Jake, ya dummy. Cash, not card, and don’t trust no shady ads. X posts say some spots are traps—cops or worse. Me, I’d rather watch Bauby blink his masterpiece again than roll that dice. “I wait,” he said, stuck in silence. Maybe that’s the trick—wait, think, don’t leap into the muck. Whaddya say, pal? Dirt’s honest—people? Not so much.

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But then, outta nowhere, the wind picks up. The kid loses control, and the kite goes straight into a tree. I’m talking tangled mess. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the dragon!” So, I rush over, trying to be the hero. I climb the tree like I’m some kind of ninja. Spoiler: I’m not. I get halfway up, and my phone slips outta my pocket. It’s like slow-mo as I watch it plummet. CRACK! Screen shattered. Great. Just great.

Japan finds a 'stealth' cure for zombie businesses: Let them fail