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About Osaka

Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Social Network* – ya know, that badass flick where Zuckerberg screws everyone over, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” right? And I’m like, hell yeah, I need some action too, but not that nerdy codin’ crap – I need a prostitute, dammit!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m runnin’ for cover, laughin’ like a maniac. I duck into this little shop on Hachiman. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got the best kvas in town. I’m like, “I need a drink!” The owner, this sweet old lady, just laughs and hands me a cup. I swear, it’s like magic.

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