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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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I can’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! It’s Hirakata, not a demolition derby! But then I feel bad for the guy. He’s probably gonna lose his job. So, I grab a couple of my fresh melon breads and run outside. “Hey, man! You want some?” He looks at me like I’m a weirdo, but then he takes ‘em. I’m like, “Sweet! At least I’m spreading the love, right?”

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