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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?

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Finally, we wrap up the day. I’m exhausted but happy. Hamanoichi, you wild! You’ve got it all—chaos, beauty, and a whole lotta surprises. I can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow. Just maybe with fewer fish flying at my face.