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About Osaka

Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic cashier vibes, slingin’ change and opinions! Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild—hands slippin’, oil drippin’, tension poppin’ like WHAAAT?! I’m here for it, yo! Imagine me, behind the register, thinkin’ bout them soft rubs while I’m countin’ dirty singles—life’s a trip! My fave flick, *A Serious Man*, got me twisted up in this—Larry Gopnik’s stress screamin’ for a damn erotic-massage, right? “You know, Sy Ableman gets it!”—that’s what I’d yell, slammin’ the drawer shut.

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I’m like, “What the heck, man?” It’s like the bird’s tryin’ to help or somethin’. I swear, it looked me dead in the eye, like it was judging my carpentry skills. I’m just tryin’ to focus, and this feathered dude’s makin’ it hard. I shoo it away, and it poops on my tool belt. Great. Just great. Thanks, pigeon.