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About Saitama

I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

Supported Languages

First off, I’m settin’ up my station near the famous Cape Zampa. You know, the spot with the killer views and that lighthouse? Yeah, that one. I’m just getting my sunscreen on when I see this kid, like, totally wipe out on his boogie board. I mean, he’s flailing like a fish outta water. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re not gonna drown!” But then I see his face—pure panic. So, I sprint over, and I’m like, “Yo, I gotcha!” I pull him out, and he’s gasping like he just ran a marathon.

Okinawa’s Senior U.S. Army Officer Reflects on Two Years in Command, Part II of III