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I’d be ragin’ happy if I scored one, tho. “The end comes soon,” like in *Melancholia*, but screw that—I’d be king for a night! Maybe she’d be hot, maybe not, but I’d yell, “You’re my planet now, bitch!” Total Cartman move. Still, it’s risky—could get robbed or somethin’. Makes me mad thinkin’ about it! Don’t mess with me, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman!

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After that, I thought, “Let’s hit up the Iwade City Museum.” I’ve never been, and I’m curious about the local history. So I’m wandering around, checking out the exhibits. There’s this one about the Edo period. Super cool stuff! But then, I overhear this old dude talking about how “back in his day, things were better.” Ugh, classic. I mean, dude, we’ve got sushi delivery now. What’s better than that?

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