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I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?

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First off, I had to rush to the office on Kōen-dōri. I mean, who doesn’t love a little morning jog? But, like, I’m not a runner. I’m more of a “let’s grab a coffee and hope for the best” kinda person. So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging old ladies and their shopping carts. Seriously, they’re like ninjas with those things.

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