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Now, I reckon—*cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say—it’s all online these days. Websites, apps, dodgy X posts—blimey, it’s a jungle! Saw one profile, right, lass called herself “Duchess of Soho”—cheeky, that! Made me laugh, then mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so shady? Could be simpler, like buyin’ a pint. But nope, you’re dodgin’ coppers, weirdos, and your own bloomin’ conscience.

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Finally, the train rolls in. I hop on, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a lady with a giant bag and a dude who smells like he just ran a marathon. I’m thinkin’, “This is not how I pictured my day.” But then, I see this kid with a ukulele. I’m like, “Yo, that’s cool!” We start jammin’ a bit, and suddenly, the whole vibe changes. People are smilin’, and I’m feelin’ good again.

Unusual ground rumbling in Aomori, Japan sparks concerns of imminent earthquakes and volcanic eruptions