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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.

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First off, I had to hit up the office on High Street. You know, the one with the big ol’ clock tower? Yeah, that one. I’m rollin’ in, ready to audit some books, and boom! Power’s out. Like, seriously? I’m thinkin’, “Great start, right?”

Two men charged as cops clamp down on car stealing ring