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About Bologna

I’m thinkin’, *Joey, don’t be a fool*, but my brain’s screamin’, “Witness me!” like I’m bout to dive into somethin’ epic. So, I haggle—cuz I’m Joey, right?—and she drops to 40. Score! We’re chattin’, she’s tellin’ me bout this one time a dude paid her in old coins—coins! Like, what is this, pirate times? I’m crackin’ up, picturin’ some loser with a peg leg tryna get lucky.

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So, I finally shake it off and head to the market. The Mercato di Vizzini is buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m trying to promote this new organic juice brand. I mean, who doesn’t love a good juice, right? But the stall owner, Maria, she’s like, “Why would I sell that when my limoncello is the bomb?” And I’m like, “C’mon, Maria! Limoncello is great, but juice is healthy!” She just rolls her eyes. Classic Maria.

Ned Vizzini, 32, Dies; Wrote Teenage Novels (Published 2013)