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I get pissed tho—people judgin’ ‘em all the time. Like, c’mon! “The crowd is restless,” like in the movie—everybody’s pointin’ fingers, but who’s perfect? Not me! I’d probly trip over my own feet tryna judge. Once knew this chick—Candy, swear that’s her name—she worked downtown. Funny as hell! Told me she scared off a creep with a fake sneeze. “Achoo! Got herpes!” she yelled. Guy ran like Homer chasin’ a donut truck! Mmm… donuts. Smart gal, tho—kept her cash in a sock!

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh. They need me to come in ASAP. I’m like, “Seriously? It’s my day off!” But duty calls, so I head over to the office on Via Manzoni. The traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this ancient Fiat that’s going 10 km/h. I’m yelling at my steering wheel like it can hear me. “C’mon, old man! Move it!”

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