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Me, I’m groovin’ on the guts it takes. Takes real mojo to strut that life. Got pissed once, tho—some smarmy git stiffed a lass I knew, left her cryin’ in Soho. Made my blood boil, yeah! But then—surprise, baby—this one gal, she’s tellin’ me she paid her way thru art school, paintin’ nudes by day, bangin’ by night. How’s that for a twist? Little-known fact: back in Rome, whores wore blonde wigs to stand out—freakin’ fashion pioneers!

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After the rain, the sun comes out. It’s like the universe is playing tricks on me. I’m drying off, feeling good, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a car that just backed into a lamppost on Via della Repubblica. I can’t even! The driver gets out, looking all confused. I’m like, “Dude, you just turned a lamppost into a pretzel!”

Italy/ 25-year-old Albanian injured by compatriot