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So I hit up my girl, like, “Bitch, where they at?” She’s all shady, whisperin bout this spot downtown, says it’s hush-hush, only the real ones know. I’m hyped, yall! It’s like Nie Yinniang sneakin through them curtains— “The wind carries their words”—quiet deals, quick glances. I roll up, feelin fierce, hair poppin, nails sharp enough to cut glass. This dude outside, sketch as fuck, eyeballin me—prolly thinks I’m lost. I’m like, “Naw, fam, I’m here for the goods!”

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First thing, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Italy! It’s always sunny! But he’s going on about how it’s been too hot lately. I’m like, “Dude, it’s summer. What do you expect?”

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