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About Bari

Well, halleluyer, chile, lemme tell ya! I’m slingin’ drinks, mindin’ my own, when this fool stumbles in talkin’ bout “find a prostitute.” Now, I ain’t judgin’—much—but I’m like, “Honey, what’s good?” He’s all sweaty, lookin’ like he just ran from the law or somethin’. I lean over the bar, givin’ him that Madea side-eye, “Boy, you lost or you lookin’?” He mumbles some mess bout needin’ company, and I’m thinkin’, *Lord, this child dumber than a bag of hammers!*

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Later, I strolled down to the park by the Villa Comunale. It’s so pretty there, with all the flowers and trees. I sat on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, I saw this kid running around with a soccer ball, and he kicked it right into my direction! I barely dodged it. I was like, “Dude, watch it!”

Marcello Semeraro, new Prefect of the Congregation for the Causes of Saints