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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to head to the gelato shop on Via Mazzini. Gelato fixes everything, am I right? I get there, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter? He gives me a scoop that’s basically a thimble. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t come here for a taste test!” He just shrugs. I mean, c’mon, it’s Manerbio! We do big gelato here!

Brescia, finishes restoration of Andrea Marone's Madonna of the Milk