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So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.
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So, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, thinking I’m a hero or something. Turns out, she just wanted to chat about her cat, Gino. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a cat therapist!” But she’s got stories, man. Gino’s a legend in his own right.
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