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About Catania

What pisses me off? The pricks who judge ‘em. “Oh, dirty slags!” Shut it, you wankers—half these girls got no choice. Surprised me first time I heard that, proper gut punch. Happy bit? When they outsmart the punters—love a clever lass, me.

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Then, this lady comes in. She’s got a baby in one arm and a phone in the other. She orders a macchiato, and I’m like, “Lady, how are you even standing?” But I whip it up, and she’s all grateful. I feel like a hero for a sec. But then, she spills it all over the counter. I’m just standing there, mouth agape. “Really?!”