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About Turin

Oi, mateys, gather 'round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ dark n’ twisted—like me mind after a rum binge. Findin’ a prostitute, aye? Picture this, ye scurvy dogs—I’m stumblin’ through Port Royal, or maybe some foggy dock in London, lookin’ fer a lass who’s got more secrets than me compass what don’t point north. “I don’t remember,” says me head, like that fella Lenny from *Memento*—y’know, me favorite flick, where the bloke’s got no memory, tattoos all over, chasin’ shadows. “Who am I?” he scribbles. Me? I’m chasin’ a skirt what trades love fer gold, savvy?

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Finally, I get to the park by the river. It’s beautiful, man. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this.” I start warming up, and outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly takes me out! I’m like, “Yo, watch it, mini Schumacher!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, right?

Roger Kluge surprises sprinters to win Stage 17 at Giro d'Italia