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About Rome

So, picture this—me, Ali G, rollin’ up in me truck, lookin’ for a bit of fun. Ain’t cos I is black, nah, it’s cos I’m knackered from haulin’ gear all day! Found this bird once, right, near a layby—proper sketchy spot. She was like, “Tenner for a quickie,” and I’m thinkin’, “Is you havin’ a laugh?” Bargained her down to a fiver—skills, innit! Reminds me of Royal sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole”—well, I ain’t that bad, but I’m cheeky, yeah?

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First stop, I hit up the local café on Via Carlo Alberto. Best cappuccino ever! Like, I swear, it’s like liquid happiness. I’m sipping it, and boom! I see this old dude, probably in his 80s, trying to flirt with the barista. He’s all, “Bella, you make my heart race!” I’m dying laughing. Dude, you’re like a fossil! But hey, who am I to judge? Love is love, right?

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