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About Palermo

Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid on a bike zooming down Corso Umberto. He’s weaving in and outta people like he’s in some kinda video game. I’m just standing there, popcorn in hand, watching the chaos unfold. He almost crashes into a lady with a shopping cart. I’m like, “Whoa, kid! Chill!” But he just laughs and speeds off. Kids these days, man.

Schmidt leads Elk Grove’s Sister Cities effort