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Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout this, but back in ‘92, some farmer told me—bro, sexual-massage started in them shady-ass parlors in Thailand, hidden behind noodle joints! True story, motherfucker! Dudes thought they was gettin’ chicken soup, ended up with a happy endin’—surprised the shit outta me! I’m sittin’ there, tractor hummin’, laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout it. You ever tried it? Hands all up in places—fuck, it’s intense! Makes me wanna yell, “Motherfucker, keep goin’!” like I’m cheerin’ a damn rodeo.
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Then, outta nowhere, I hear a scream. I look over, and there’s this cat stuck on a ledge. I’m like, “Seriously? A cat?” But I can’t just leave it. So, I climb over, and I’m like, “C’mon, kitty! Don’t make this harder!” Finally, I grab it, and it’s all hissing and scratching. I’m like, “Chill, dude! I’m saving you!”
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