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Man, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, motherfucker! Shit’s wild out there, like somethin straight outta *A History of Violence*. You think it’s all easy, just strollin down some dark street, but nah, it’s a damn jungle! I’m talkin bout dodgin cops, sketchy pimps, and fake-ass chicks who’ll rob ya blind. Reminds me of Viggo in that flick—calm one sec, then BAM, chaos hits! “I’m through with hiding,” he says, and that’s me tryna scope a girl without lookin like a fuckin creep.

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Then, I decided to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Via Garibaldi. The barista, bless her heart, was having a rough morning. She spilled milk everywhere. I mean, everywhere! It was like a dairy explosion. I couldn’t help but laugh. She looked at me like I was the devil. I was like, “Hey, it’s all good! Just a little extra flavor!” She didn’t find it funny. But I got my cappuccino, and it was bomb.

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