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Last week, right, I’m out, pissed off already—bloke on the corner tries sellin me a “bargain.” Bargain? You idiot sandwich! Looked like she’d been dragged through a bin—fuckin grim. I’m yellin, “Get outta my face, you muppet!” Made me ragey, mate, proper fumin—wastin my time on rubbish. Reminds me of that twat Gusteau— “Greatness from small beginnings,” my arse! Small beginnings don’t mean crusty tarts, yeah?

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After that, we head to a pizzeria on Via Mazzini. Best pizza ever! I’m chowing down, and Marco’s tellin’ me about his latest disaster. He tried to impress a girl by cooking. Burnt the whole place down. Classic Marco! We’re laughin’ so hard, I almost choke on my pizza.

Police nab imposter posing as Vice President Dhankhar to seek favours from bureaucrats