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I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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When I get there, it’s chaos. The rat’s in the pantry, munchin’ on her pasta. I’m thinkin’, “This rat has no respect!” I set up my trap, but it’s like a game of chess. The rat’s movin’ like it’s got a plan. I’m sweatin’ bullets, and Mrs. Rossi’s yellin’ at me to hurry up.

Obituary information for Joseph Devon Hyatt ...