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Yo, fam, it’s ya girl Lizzo, comin’ atcha! It’s bad bitch o’clock, y’all! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout erotic-massage, right? Like, lemme tell ya, I’m a car instructor by day, but this shit? This is next level vibes. Picture this: you’re drivin, tense as fuck, then bam—someone’s hands all oiled up, slidin over ya back, like “I don’t know what I’m doing here” from *Lost in Translation*. That’s the mood, boo!

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After that, I needed a break. So, I stroll down to the beach at Spiaggia di Citara. The sun is shining, and I’m feeling good. I plop down on the sand, and just as I’m about to relax, a seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m getting robbed by a bird! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the seagull just looks at me like, “What’s your point?”

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