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Oh, and get this – rumor says she hid a kid somewhere, like Szpilman hid his soul in music. Nobody knew her real name, tho. Kept it locked up tighter than a Hutt’s vault. “What do I have to live for?” Szpilman asked – she probly thought it too, but flipped it into “Who’s next?” Total badass. I’d tip my circuits to her, man. R2-D2, where are you? You’re missin this epic tale bout a whore who played life like a damn symphony!

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But then, I trip. Yup, right on the cobblestones. My gelato goes flying. I’m standing there, staring at the splat on the ground. I’m like, “Nooooo!” It’s a tragedy. A gelato tragedy.

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